Category: search terms

These are all terms people searched for that somehow brought them to my site!

October

download romance novel sweet disorder by rose lerner [fuck you pirates is all I have to say about that. October was a sadly unfunny months for search terms!]

November

one special feature like thorn prickle in lilly
today hasband looking waif sex brighton [???]
petticoats that rustle
how many books has theresa romain written [9 not counting novellas, if I’m counting correctly]

December

short story on smell of sweet and sound of coins
forced to be lillie the maid by my wife
who is called as a rough diamond and must first be polished before he shines by dryden? [answer: chaucer; honestly dryden really embarrassed himself with that one]
turkey with pineapple recipe [I include this because I have no idea how this brought anyone to my site, I would NEVER cook that]

January

i never eat muscatel grapes meanimg [answer: it’s a quote from the count of monte cristo]
meaning of a man ain t nothing but a man [i get this one all the time! how many people are googling this and why??? it just means that a man ain’t nothing but a man, it’s not code!]
putting butter choclate on breasts kissng story [BUTTER CHOCOLATE????]

These are all terms people searched for that somehow brought them to my site!

May

short sweet stories about sisters
dear brother! please forgive me i am a sister-in-law with bursting tits

June

a short article of a character who rose from poverty [someone is doing their homework! and doesn’t want to spend more effort than necessary on it]
how does the poet of the clod and pebble make the poem moving [ditto, ffs]
[AUTHOR, NAME REDACTED] married [I know buddy, she’s a babe]
indirect quotes for lady and smart friends

July

kevin spacey cigar [took me a minute to figure out how they ended up here but it was this post]
regency joke what was a sponge cake
his cock rose expectantly story [this is not specific enough, searcher!]

August

malfoy loss
magnificent speeches
he put his hands round her waist cupping her breast over her blouse he whispered i going to undress you touch and taste you tonight he carried her to his bed

September

sweet stories of chad is a vampire and using is fangs on taylor neck telling her it won t hurt a new one [!!!]
fox hunting cruelty paintings [ONLY THE CRUEL ONES OKAY]

These are all terms people searched for that somehow brought them to my site!

December:

nicholas and his brother fall in love with the same woman novel
iron cage on a tower in paris

January:

author rose lerner jewish? [awwww! I have done similar searches SO MANY TIMES. I hope they discovered that yes, I am Jewish.]
short story about hungry hans who ate the pig he was supposed to be roasting
scarlet pimpernel fanfiction erotic stories [I hear you, searcher]

February:

isolde drinks the draught and guinevere explanation
someone making cakes [this is a pleasantly vague search. Did you just want to watch videos of people making cakes? That does sound soothing.]
serena can t believe the dick size between her thighs

March:

at first percy was glad that he stayed
edwardian man on holiday
reformed rakes in history [OMG OMG yes I want to know the REAL stories of history’s reformed rakes not these watered down romances]

April:

cuckold symbology
edwardian sports

These are all terms people searched for that somehow brought them to my site.

 
September:

best lesbian romantic couple photos only [awww]
heyer s characters true behaved to their time [hahaha hope you weren’t looking for confirmation when you came here because I STRONGLY DISAGREE]
gaze wandering over her intimately
if you need somebody but you got nothing
voldemort slaps lucius
henry ii shame on a conquered king [I probably did mention this somewhere because they are my favorite dying words EVER]

 
October:

house of commons opera hat
historical crushes
roger moore with cigar and glass [I know exactly the photo you mean, searcher]
name of some website to lerner chemistry for her main [???]

 
November:

unrealistic expectations fictional men
the pie chart inventor [I was actually helpful on this one, because I DID post about the invention of the pie chart!]
mr.snively website [intriguing…]
angry responses to ronsard poem when you are old [I hear you, searcher]
how to tell someone you like them with a message on a rose

I think I need to start doing semi-regular posts about search terms people use to find my site! Some of my favorites from August:

what mean henry with a man aint nothing but a man [it’s like poetry]
let s see paul allen s card [Wooo only the best scene in American Psycho!]
how can you live with yourself lucius gift [I assume that last person actually meant to type “gif” but I quite like the name “Lucius Gift.” I may have to use that one of these days.]

July:

gout funny quotes [Nothing funnier than gout, amirite?]
ivanhoe parody [THERE ARE SO MANY]
the art of governing a wife [Was this person actually searching for my post? Or do they…want to know about the art of governing a wife? Or what?]
voldemort slaps lucius [seriously, hilarious Harry Potter searches were always the best on my fanfiction site too. What is it about Harry Potter that makes for such amazing google searches?]
of course she is my favorite aunt she is freaking awesome [I don’t really want context honestly]
harlequin covers fabio [hard to see how my site could even have been in the first ten pages of results for this? how in depth was this person’s search?]

April:

heroine interview sex stories [what is this person looking for? is the heroine a reporter? is the sex story in the form of an interview?]
historical romance with blond hero [awww]

March:

tumblr logan echolls meta [why does it have to be on tumblr??]
roselerner penn badgley [this person legit appears to be looking for some post I made on tumblr about Penn Badgley!! I have never been so flattered!]
rebecca stronger than rowena [hey hey the ladies don’t have to be in competition]
when a husband would sell his wife would she wear a halter [!!!!!! WELL THERE’S A FAMOUS ROWLANDSON ILLUSTRATION BUT I DON’T THINK IT WAS A REQUIREMENT]

February:

roger moore cocktail glass [this search term describes my sexuality to a T]
philosemite creepy [you get me, googler]
corinthians/aliens [?]
which sonnet says my love is nothing like a rose [I’m impressed this person actually clicked through to something on my site because I assume they want “My mistress’s eyes are nothing like the sun” and it’s the first hit for this search]
a man aint nothing but a man mean [okay is this the same person months earlier, or is this a common concern?]

January:

holy roman emperor frederick 111 and gingerbread
romance novels giving women unrealistic expectations [FUCK YOU]
she trapped him under her skirt and smother him [???????]
death by hounds [!!!!!!!]